My earliest memory of my biggest fear was when I was 7 or 8 years old. I was playing in my backyard with one of my friends, Karlyn, and we were doing "under dogs" on the swing set. I had just run under the swing when Karlyn noticed I had cut my wrist and was bleeding. I hadn't noticed, until she said something. Immediately, my heart started to race, I turned white as a ghost, and my vision started to close in on me. I don't remember if I passed out or not, but the experience became a common theme anytime I saw blood or even heard people discussing an incident with blood. (Fun for me... not!)
If anyone has ever had anxiety or a huge fear, you probably understand where I'm coming from. From this point on, I did everything I could to avoid any situation facing blood, needles, etc. I can probably count the number of times this fear caused me to pass out on one hand, but each of those experiences builds on the other and makes the anxiety even worse. For example, one early morning during my sophomore year at Purdue University I had a Personal Training class. All I remember is my professor continually discussing blood and said something regarding "the blood POOLS in the muscles.." and I was out. I literally passed out, fell out of my desk, and woke up to the teacher screaming ,"Are you okay.. Sarah, are you okay?!?" Embarrassing.
I've managed to make it to 28 years old with only having to have my blood drawn one time until today. The first time went really well. A nurse came to our home to do a physical for life insurance so I was able to lay on our own couch while she performed the blood draw. I didn't pass out and had a relatively positive experience. I found out last week I would have to have my fasted blood drawn this morning. I was anxious, but knew I would have to put my big girl panties on and do it. (Ok, I might have looked like this guy.)
I drove up to the north side of Indy (about 30 minutes) to my appointment that was at 7:40am. Just a couple minutes in the waiting room and I was called back. I have never been this calm, EVER, at the doctor's office... especially knowing they are drawing my blood. I informed the nurse that I'm a "fainter" and she sat me in the chair that reclines. She propped my feet up, laid me back, and about a minute or two later was done! Wow! I did it! :)
I am so proud of myself for tackling this fear head on. This has literally caused me so much anxiety over the past 20 some years and today was the first day I feel like I'm in control. One of my goals in 2014 is to "Do one thing every day that scares you." Now that I've faced this fear, I feel there's nothing I can't do! :)
What are your biggest fears? What have you done to overcome them?
How have you conquered a huge fear in your life?
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