Yesterday morning was tough. A LOT tougher than I expected. I had done my research, talked with friends who have been down this road, and had my list of questions ready for our fertility doctor. This past month we took a break from the medications, ultrasounds, and IUI process after our first two rounds left us no where closer to conceiving a baby. We were ready to discuss our next step with our doctor and see where this road would take us.
I knew what I wanted our next steps to be and they were exactly what the doctor recommended. Yet, as soon as he walked out of the office, I burst into tears.
Overwhelming is an understatement when you know your best hope of conceiving a child is by way of self administered shots, several ultrasounds, blood work, and more. It's almost as though you have to bury the dream of conceiving "naturally."
What is most frustrating is that we don't know why we aren't getting pregnant.
What is most frustrating is that we don't know why we aren't getting pregnant.
We don't have a medical diagnosis, besides "unexplained infertility" which affects 10%-15% of couples. This diagnosis leaves us with just enough hope that maybe we will conceive without medical assistance, yet if the past 22 months have been any indication of the future, a 4.5% chance each month isn't looking good.
So, what's our game plan for this coming month?
We are taking things up a notch.
Instead of a regular IUI, we are adding in injectables.
Yes, like shots. Shots I'm supposed to give myself.
This was my reaction.
That and tears.. lots of tears.
We are taking things up a notch.
Instead of a regular IUI, we are adding in injectables.
Yes, like shots. Shots I'm supposed to give myself.
This was my reaction.
That and tears.. lots of tears.
Fear #1: Shots
Fear #2: Multiple ultrasounds...
(seeing an empty uterus is my favorite)
Fear # 3: Several Blood draws...
(don't let this picture fool you, I'm not a fan.)
Fear #4: This doesn't work... and we are out over $2,500
Fear #5: It does work... and I lose the baby, again.
No one ever imagines going through infertility.
No one can relate to it until they have been down the road either.
The vision of your husband holding your child for the first time...
The sound of little feet running through the house...
The longing to be a mother...
These are all dreams I have.
I never thought I would have to struggle so hard to accomplish these milestones that many people take for granted.
This is a disease I would never wish upon my worst enemy.
I want to thank you all for following our journey and all the prayers you are saying for us.
It truly means the world to Barry and I.
We can't wait to tell our future little bundle of joy how hard we worked to bring him/her into this world and how loved they are by so many people.
Until next time...
Sarah
