Third times a charm... Right?

They say good things happen in threes. The "rule of Three" is a writing principle that suggests things that come in threes are inherently funnier, more satisfying, and more effective that other numbers of things.
This holds true in slogan "Go, fight, win!" or The Three Stooges.   

So, when my doctor prescribed us to three months of clomid in November to increase our changes of getting pregnant, I was very optimistic! I thought it was just that extra piece of the puzzle we needed to have the advantage. (Kinda like having the answers to the test before you even sit down and take the exam) I was anxious to start right away and followed Doctor's instructions to a "T", but Month 1 ended just like most before it, in disappointment and tears.

 Month 2- I was 100% convinced I was pregnant. I had every symptom in the book. I even told Barry, "I know I'm pregnant. I don't need a test to tell me!" I had thought for months that we would get pregnant before the end of the year, so of course December would be OUR MONTH! That month hit us in the stomach, like a punch that "knocks the wind out of you and you aren't sure if you are going to be able to get back up from" type of punch. I felt defeated.

 I didn't even want to take the clomid in January, but knew our doctor would ask and I wanted to make sure I could confidently say that we followed all instructions and it didn't work. Barry and I already started talking about our next step and didn't give this month much thought. I was starting to accept the fact that we need to see a specialist and get more answers... until the day "Aunt Flow" was supposed to show came and went without anything happening. All the sudden I had hope again. My thoughts raced, "Maybe I just needed the distraction and God was going to bless us with our baby and spare us the physical and emotional pain of seeing a fertility specialist." Each day that passed, my hope grew bigger and bigger. Even a negative pregnancy test ...(OK, three lol) couldn't bring me down from this new found hope, until Monday night...

 ...There she was. I immediately fell apart. My thoughts bounced from, "This can't be happening" to "Why me? Why us? We are good people that will raise this baby with all the love and care a baby could ever need or want!" I went from angry to sad and right back to angry all evening. I cried til I had nothing left.  My amazing husband, God bless him, just held me all night. We don't even have to say anything now, what can you say?

After having a couple of days to digest everything, today we made our next move and scheduled a consultation with a fertility specialist. This is a very scary step, but we are ready for the next step in our journey!

 Thanks for all the support, messages, and encouraging words :)



                                             

And a little TTC humor.. :)