Third times a charm, right?

Third times a charm, right?

That's a saying that I have heard for years, but this month I pray it is true as we prepare for our 3rd IUI. This month is different than the last 2 times.

It's more doctor visits, blood draws, ultrasounds, shots...and of course, more money. 

We joke that our future child(ren) will be born already in debt and will have to start at a young age to work this debt off. We might not be joking if we have to endure more expensive treatments in the coming months!

We went in on Wednesday, August 27th for a baseline ultrasound and to learn how to administer the shots will be doing this cycle. Anyone who knows me knows I pass out with around blood and needles, which is why going to the infertility doctor isn't one of my hobbies. I surprisingly did really good when the nurse explained everything to us and about 20 minutes and a couple thousand dollars later we were out the door!

(Thanks Indiana insurance for not covering fertility treatments!)

On Friday, August 29th, our meds arrived! My amazing neighbor, Robin, was so sweet to wait for them to arrive and put them in the refrigerator right away. I mentioned to her that she is basically babysitting our first born child so take extra care (LOL)

When we got everything out, it looked like this. 

Scary right?

Monday, September 1st, was our first injection. It has to be a good sign that it was LABOR Day, right?! After we had dinner and I had stalled enough, we got everything out and ready. I just wanted it done before I made it a bigger deal that it is (and I think Barry was in a hurry to finish his movie) and 5 seconds later and one, "Slow down!" It was over :) 

The medicine was straight out of the refrigerator and his nerves/excitement to poke me with a needle, caused him to push the medicine in super fast. Good news, it took about 1 second. Bad news, I may have yelled at him. (Sorry babe!)

 5 shots, 3 ultrasounds, and 2 blood draws later, we were scheduled for our IUI on Sunday, September 7th. Waking up a 7am to head to the fertility doctor wasn't super exciting for Barry and I, but we made the best of it. We were able to enjoy a quiet breakfast together at Le Peep in between appointments, which rarely happens. After the procedure, we went home and I relaxed for a couple hours as my amazing husband did ALL the laundry and made me lunch. 

 Now, we wait... a LONG two weeks before we know if we are finally starting our family after nearly two years of trying to conceive. Our hope is that this will be the final procedure we have to endure to achieve our first child. We would also like to avoid a reality TV show contract (Remember Jon and Kate Plus 8... yes, she did IUI with injectables!!)
All the thoughts, prayers, and kind words are very much appreciated! 

- Sarah 

"Trials are just difficult blessings"

Yesterday morning was tough. A LOT tougher than I expected. I had done my research, talked with friends who have been down this road, and had my list of questions ready for our fertility doctor. This past month we took a break from the medications, ultrasounds, and IUI process after our first two rounds left us no where closer to conceiving a baby. We were ready to discuss our next step with our doctor and see where this road would take us.

I knew what I wanted our next steps to be and they were exactly what the doctor recommended. Yet, as soon as he walked out of the office, I burst into tears. 

Overwhelming is an understatement when you know your best hope of conceiving a child is by way of self administered shots, several ultrasounds, blood work, and more. It's almost as though you have to bury the dream of conceiving "naturally."

 What is most frustrating is that we don't know why we aren't getting pregnant. 

We don't have a medical diagnosis, besides "unexplained infertility" which affects 10%-15% of couples. This diagnosis leaves us with just enough hope that maybe we will conceive without medical assistance, yet if the past 22 months have been any indication of the future,  a 4.5% chance each month isn't looking good. 

So, what's our game plan for this coming month?
We are taking things up a notch. 
Instead of a regular IUI, we are adding in injectables. 
Yes, like shots. Shots I'm supposed to give myself.
This was my reaction.

That and tears.. lots of tears.

Fear #1: Shots

Fear #2: Multiple ultrasounds...

(seeing an empty uterus is my favorite)

Fear # 3: Several Blood draws...

(don't let this picture fool you, I'm not a fan.)

Fear #4: This doesn't work... and we are out over $2,500

Fear #5: It does work... and I lose the baby, again.

No one ever imagines going through infertility. 

No one can relate to it until they have been down the road either. 

The vision of your husband holding your child for the first time...

 The sound of little feet running through the house...

  The longing to be a mother...

These are all dreams I have. 

I never thought I would have to struggle so hard to accomplish these milestones that many people take for granted.

 This is a disease I would never wish upon my worst enemy.

I want to thank you all for following our journey and all the prayers you are saying for us. 

It truly means the world to Barry and I. 

We can't wait to tell our future little bundle of joy how hard we worked to bring him/her into this world and how loved they are by so many people. 

Until next time... 

Sarah

Life is all about how you handle Plan B :)

It was a Monday afternoon. I was at work and counting down the hours til Barry and I would put an offer on a beautiful 4 bedroom, 3.5 bath home in Speedway...just about a mile from our current home. We were in the middle of our two week wait after our second IUI and would be able to take a test in less than 48 hours!  As much as I tried not to, I couldn't help but think, 

"What if everything is working out?" 

"What if we find out we are pregnant AND have a new home to move into?!"

I should have known better because less than 2 hours before I was heading home for the day, I knew our dream of starting a family wasn't happening this month.

To say I was devastated is an understatement. 

I went numb. 

I think I just stared at the wall in my office for who knows how long before sending my husband a message saying,

"I think I'm going to lose it." 
After his sweet attempt to tell me it's too soon and we still have a chance... I replied, 

"I just want to hide in a dark room and cry....I don't know how much of this I can handle."

We had discussed taking a break from fertility treatments if this cycle didn't work and I knew as I drove home that evening, with tears streaming down my face, that taking some time off was exactly what I needed. 

I had a flood of emotions run into my head on the way home and my poor husband took the brunt of it. I tried to pull it together before pulling into the driveway, but the emotions were too intense. We had gone from dreaming about our beautiful loft master suite just the night before to  me coming into our home an hour before we put an offer on a house and saying,

"Why are we buying this big house when we can't even fill the one we have now?"

I was upset. I was confused. I was hurting. It was the perfect storm of emotions coming down at the worse possible timing. We were getting ready to buy a beautiful new home- the home I dreamed we would raise our family in, yet here I was,

once again... not pregnant.

After Barry and I both admitted all of our fears and reservations about taking this leap of faith and moving into a larger home, we decided we wanted to continue with the process and now happily have an accepted offer and a FOR SALE sign in our yard :)

Shameless plug here :)

So, where do we go from here? 

What's our next step in the process of bringing us a little Baby Bear 2.0?

We honestly don't know. We hope and pray that a baby is in our future, but for the first time in my life, I'm starting to look at what life would look like without children. It's not what Barry and I want, but if it isn't in God's plans for us, he must have something pretty amazing waiting for us. 

All we can do is trust in His plan. 

Thank you for all the support, prayers, and kind words for Barry & I. 

We are so very blessed!

Debt is normal, right??

Back in November 2013, I ordered the DebtBuster System that comes free to all Advocare distributors. I knew I had come into our marriage with more than my share of debt and often joked that the only thing Barry would get if I died was a steep bill from Sallie Mae.

Our culture is accustomed to debt. Debt is "normal".  Student loans, car loans, credit cards, etc are all apart of what most Americans deal with on a daily basis.

 I was "normal."

 

Bad decision #1: Relying on student loans

I went to a great four year college (BOILER UP!) and never thought twice about the loans I was taking out each semester to pay for my classes, books, rent, and weekend shenanigans. Yeah, I did work, but not with the intention of putting that money towards school.

(How else would I afford Mellow Mushroom Pizza on a Sunday evening?)

Crime: $30,000 in student loan debt

Bad decision #2: Taking out ANOTHER loan

Now that I had worked so hard to graduate from Purdue, my $30,000 worth of student loan debt and I moved to North Carolina where I landed my first "big girl job." Since I had no money, I took out another $5,000 loan (this time private- yay 9% interest!) to move and live stress-free down in Raleigh with my college roommate, Sara.

Crime: $9,000 in repayment

 

Bad decision #3: Getting a credit card

When I moved to Raleigh, I went to the local bank and set up a checking and savings account. As I was nearly out the door, the lady helping me asked, "Would you like a credit card with your account? It's free and you automatically qualify!" My initial thought was, " Well, I don't NEED a credit card, but I could start building up my credit this way. Plus, I have a year to pay everything off."

My response, "SURE!!"

Crime: $3,000-$5,000 in repayment and LOTS of stress

It truly wasn't until I met my husband that I started looking at money differently. I never had long term goals because I was constantly fighting my way out of every bad financial decision I had just made. We are fighting out way out of debt and are so proud to say that we have paid off $30,000 worth of debt in only 8 months!

 

We still have a way to go, but are working everyday at making smarter financial decisions for our future.

What bad financial decisions did you make in your 20's?

What advice would you give to a young adult about their financial future?

 

 

5,000 Views! :)

Since I started over sharing this past January, I am excited to announce that my blog has exceeded 5,000 views! 

Some cool stats about Weim Time:

My blog has been viewed in 10 countries!

United States	4998
Germany	19
Canada	15
Malaysia	14
Russia	10
Spain	8
Thailand	8
Australia	5
Dominican Republic	5
Lithuania	4

 

It has also earned a whopping: $1.76

(my goal is to not spend this all in one place! LOL)

Over half of my blogs are read from an iPhone (54%) while Android readers are only 13%. 

Stats aside...Blogging is therapeutic for me. 

It helps me stay accountable to my 2014 goals, share my experience with infertility, and recap the months as they quickly come and go. 

My blog is constantly evolving and changing as I'm learning as I go.  

I would love to hear from you, the readers, about what interests you.

What would you like me to blog more about? 

Health and fitness?

Weight Loss?

Free Workouts?

Infertility?

Smokey?

Barry and me?

Let me know in the comments :)

Thanks for reading, sharing, commenting, and more! Cheers to another 5,000 views!

"If they stand by you during the bad times, they deserve to be there in the good times."

Last week as I pulled into the parking lot at Midwest Fertility, preparing for another IUI, I was completely caught off guard when my husband texted me and said he not only wrote a new blog post about his feelings of battling infertility, but that he posted it on his Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Anyone who has a blog realizes that you are often times sharing very personal details of your life and then throwing it out there for the world to dissect and critic. You instantly invite everyone to be apart of whatever it is you are going through, which is terrifying. 

I began sharing our battle with infertility in my first blog of 2014.

2013. The Good and The Bad

I was petrified when I clicked publish and posted it on my personal Facebook page, but felt an immediate weight lifted off my shoulders. I was no longer living a secret life of, 

" Oh.. no.. we aren't ready for kids, etc" 

 I had nothing to hide or to be ashamed of suddenly and it felt absolutely amazing.

The unexpected result of my first blog was several friends sharing their experiences with infertility. I had no idea so many people struggled to conceive! Barry had a similar response to his post, which makes my heart happy. We have so much support, prayers, and love surrounding us during this journey.  I want to just say thanks. Thanks for the sweet notes, text messages of support, and an ear to listen when we just need a friend. 

We are truly blessed.

Top 3 Reasons You Aren't Losing Weight!

Have you been trying to lose weight and seem like no matter what you do the weight won't come off? 

Let me give you an insight as to why you aren't losing the weight!

 

1.  You are consuming all (and more) of the calories you burned during your workout

So, you started working out a couple times a week... GREAT!

To reward yourself for getting to the gym, you treat yourself to ice cream or drinks with friends, claiming "I worked out today!"

 

The problem with this mindset is that to lose weight, the body must be in a caloric deficit. 

A 30 minute circuit training workout for a 155 lb person burns around 300 calories. 

How many calories are in a small Butterfinger Blizzard?!? 470!

OK, instead of DQ Date, you hit up your favorite Mexican restaurant after your workout. 

Just one small margarita will cost you 550 calories!

((and we all know you didn't order the small... or just one!)

Now, instead of losing weight, you actually added 150 net calories to your intake.

Remember, you aren't a dog. Don't use food as a reward!

2. You are trying to out work a bad diet

So you started going to the gym 3x's a week for a 30 minute circuit training class..Awesome! Your body is now burning around 900 extra calories a week. Great start! 

The only problem is that to lose 1 lb, 3500 calories must be burned. 

At this rate, it would take about 4 weeks to lose 1 lb. 

((No wonder you want to give up!))

If you are a Starbucks lover, just giving up your daily Venti White Chocolate Mocha will up your weight lose to 1 lb/week!

(510 calories per drink X 7 days a week)

Think about all the other things in your diet you could switch to save calories... it all adds up!

3. You do the exact same workout

(Over, and over, and over again)

There's so many people that I have seen over the years come in to the gym time after time and do the same workout. They did this routine so frequently that even I had the routine memorized. 

What's the problem with this?

Your body will adapt to a workout routine after only 4-6 weeks. At this point, no new results will occur in strength, cardiovascular, flexibility, etc. You have achieved the results you will achieve. 

What should you do?

Change something- ANYTHING!

Increase the resistance or intensity during your cardio, go to a higher weight with your strength training exercises, and/or change up the amount of repetitions/sets. 

Better yet, meet with a trainer to learn new exercises that are specific to your goals :)

What has worked for you? 

What are the best tips you can give to someone trying to lose weight?