A letter to my girls..9 months in :)

Lily & Maddie,

In many ways it seems like you both have been in my life forever, yet it's only been a short 9 months. Some days fly by while other days I'm counting down the seconds until your Dad walks through the door.

Finding our new "normal" has been a challenge, as any new parent struggles to find. In the midst of play time, reading books, baths, bottles, etc. I am trying to keep the house chores in order, dinner on the table, workouts completed,  groceries bought, meals planned and prepped while finding time for myself, Barry, family, and friends.

The first 2-3 months after you girls were born, we were in survival mode. I couldn't think about anything else but feeding you and caring for you. Food came from amazingly thoughtful friends and family members. I assume your Dad did the laundry because I can't even remember touching a load. Showering happened when I could no longer remember the last time I took one. You were my world and I spent every ounce of me trying to figure out how to do the best job possible.

Around 3 months, we started to gain some traction. I think I started cooking again. I started back at the gym and got into Body Pump which made me feel strong and healthy as my thoughts towards my body changed. I no longer cared about being "skinny". I wanted to be as healthy as I could be so I would be around for many more decades and to be a positive role model for you girls in this aspect.

By 6 months, I felt confident. I was regularly taking you out on adventures to Target, Main Street, or to the grocery store. Each outing became easier and took less time to gather everything we needed to leave the house. We even flew to Florida and then to D.C!

Now it's been 9 months. You both have officially been here longer than I was pregnant with you. Our new "normal" is everything I had hoped it would be and so much more. I still look at each of you in awe that you are mine. I cry happy tears randomly when I hold you and notice you are getting so big. I am so proud when you achieve a new milestone. You literally complete me. I was made to be a mother... YOUR mother. I have wanted this since I was a little girl and now it's my reality. When we weren't sure having kids was going to be a possibility, I can distinctly remember seeing a family walking down the street on a warm summer morning with their toddler, new baby, and dog. They had EVERYTHING I wanted. It seemed so simple to most, but that was my dream.

I'm now living my dream. I am able to stay at home with you girls everyday and not miss one moment with you. Many mothers would love to be in my position and I don't take this for granted. I love your Dad more now than I ever thought possible. Watching him sing to you, play with you, and laugh with you melts me. He works so hard for our family and then comes home and gives us 100% of his attention and time as we feed you, bathe you, and play before its time to go to bed.

I can't believe it's possible that you girls are turning 1 in just 3 short months. The day you were born forever changed me. I look at the world differently. I am trying to be the best mother I can be to you girls so that you are raised knowing how much you are loved. Watching the bond you two have is very special. I am so glad God chose me to be your Mom.

I love you both with all my heart,

Mom